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10 Things Parents Need to Talk About With Their Kids Before They Go Off to College (Part 2)7/3/2023 Jayda, my eldest posing at the end of senior year! Click Here to Read Part 1 The end of Senior Year can be such a blur, but there are so many meaningful conversations that parents should have with their young adults before sending them off to college. Here are the remaining five topics I think all families should prioritize to discuss with their young adults: #5 Conflict Resolution Communication and conflict resolution skills are also crucial for college success. Encourage teenagers to communicate effectively with their professors, peers, and roommates. Try not to step and do the work for them but teach them how to resolve conflicts in a respectful and productive manner before they leave your home. In the first year of college, we had to role-play with Jayda about informing her professor that she would be dropping his class and not participating in the class project. Helping her to navigate the professor student relationship was a big deal for her that ultimately has equipped her to also have difficult conversations with her internship managers. In addition, we helped Jayda practice how she would talk with her roommate about having guests sleep over and other roommate boundary issues. Talking with a professor can be intimidating and so can addressing a touchy subject with a roommate. Direct and respectful communication goes a long way these days. #4 Communication Expectations Photo by cottonbro studio Maintaining family connections and support systems while away at college is essential for parents and teenagers. Encourage your teenager to stay in touch and communicate regularly. In addition, set up expectations of how often you want to speak to your child. I expected that I would get a weekly touchpoint with my daughter. However, in the first year, Jayda surprisingly called me every day. She wanted to stay connected and needed our support more often than I expected. She was encountering so many new people and situations, and I made myself available to listen and give time to her--even though she often called late at night. We used apps like MarcoPolo, GoogleMeets, GooglePhotos, Email, and Texting, all to stay in touch. Originally from Seattle, WA, my husband Bryan attended college at the University of Oregon. And as an out-of-state student, he remembered how special it felt to get mail. With that in mind, he committed to writing Jayda a weekly letter and sending her a monthly care package. My husband and I also felt it was important to see her in person, meet some of her new acquaintances, and ensure she was adjusting well. We planned for her to come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and then made the time to visit her for Parent's Weekend and her birthday. Visiting was a great blessing because she needed and welcomed our encouragement and support every time we visited. She wanted all our hugs, kisses, and words of encouragement. Remember, the transition to college can be challenging for parents and teenagers. By having open and honest conversations about these important topics, you can help your child navigate the college experience and set them up for success. #3 Social & Spiritual Engagement Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko Address social responsibility and community engagement opportunities. Encourage your young adult to get involved in campus organizations and volunteer opportunities. Jayda took the time to gauge her academic load before committing to too many groups. Her priority was academic success, but we encouraged her to prioritize involvement in 1-2 student groups for a more well-rounded college experience. Once she had a handle on her schedule, Jayda regularly participated in art and musical events and volunteered in the community and on campus. Seeing Jayda seek out different Christian Organizations on campus was encouraging. She attended a few student groups before finding a group where she fits in. In addition, she found a local church off campus that provided additional support. For our family, our desire for Jayda to find people on and off campus would support her desire to grow closer to God. College students are guaranteed to grow academically and socially--so if spiritual growth is one of your desires, make sure the school they attend has options for your student. Help them search for the organizations on campus and in the local community. #2 Career Exploration & Job Readiness Photo by Christina Morillo Career exploration and job readiness skills are also crucial for college students. Encourage teenagers to explore their career interests and seek internships and other job opportunities. Teach them or ensure they attend a workshop or webinar on creating a resume and cover letter and preparing for job interviews. Most schools have Career Centers that can help with these types of skills. Also, remember that many deadlines for summer internships happen in the fall, so encourage your student to visit and get acquainted with their services at the beginning of the school year. Now something to consider, the internship might be in a different state or city, so you won't get to spend an entire summer with your college student. Weigh the pros and cons of being away for the summer. Your student might want to hold off the first year and intern his second summer. Or like my daughter, Jayda, they might jump right into an internship across the country! Jayda in the middle at the Amazon Headquarters in Seattle, WA. #1 Emotional Well-Being & Stress Management Photo by Ketut Subiyanto Self-care and stress management techniques are also essential for college students. During the pandemic, all of my teens had a counselor. This proved invaluable as they learned the importance of caring for their mental and emotional health.
Research what the University provides regarding resources, such as counseling services, to help your young adult manage stress and other mental health concerns. Get them use to making their mental health a priority. This topic alone deserves its own blog post so I am going to dive deeper in my upcoming post entitled, "3 Things I Wish I Had Known Before My Daughter Went off to College"
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Murray Homeschool AcademyI have been a homeschool educator since 2008. Here I blog about our educational experience and hope you can learn something from our journey. Archives
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